


New York Life: Pezberry Edition

by braverbolderlouder



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Gen, Other, Pezberry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-17 23:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1405927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braverbolderlouder/pseuds/braverbolderlouder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel and Santana's adventures in the Big Apple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. start of something new

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically an AU of The New Rachel, Glee season 4's first episode. Canon for future episodes. In my head, this is what happened in NY if:  
> 1) Santana stayed behind in Lima, not really attending the University of Louisville in Kentucky  
> 2) Santana and Brittany are still going strong  
> 3) Finn still went to the army  
> 4) Finn and Rachel broke up  
> \--plus a multitude of other storylines I can't remember at the moment, but I'll work something out. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Rachel's high school life is just the start of a new beginning.

Rachel was currently at Washington Square Park, a park that's only a few walks away from NYADA. Sitting on a park bench, she had her iPhone in her hands and was contemplating on whether she'll call anyone of her friends or not. She chose the former and dialed a certain Latina's number. They've gotten closer over the last few weeks of their senior year and they spent all summer talking on the phone, Skype-ing, Facebook messaging, and also sending tweets to each other. Rachel won't deny this ever: New York is great. She certainly feels like she belongs in the Big Apple, but still, all that aside, she misses all her friends. Yes, even Santana.

" _Hello? Rachel?_ " Santana's voice brought her back.

" **H-hey Santana, I'm glad you picked up.** " Rachel said, trying not to sound sad, but Santana sensed it quickly.

" _Hey, what's up Rach? You sound sad._ " The Latina asked, concern laced in her tone of voice.

Hearing Santana's voice made her cry, making the person on the other end of the line worried. " _Rachel, what's wrong?_ "

" **Remember when I told you a few weeks ago that I was fine and all that nonsense shit?** " Rachel said, surprising Santana on the other end.

" _Yeah and?_ "

" **I lied, okay? I lied, Santana. I'm not okay,** " Rachel spoke, her voice beginning to crack. Tears clouded her vision.

" _What do you mean?_ " Santana wanted to know, her voice still laden with concern for the other brunette.

She wipes away some of the tears. Rachel begins rambling, " **My first week of college is a disaster, no, more like, pure hell—my dance teacher's a bitch; I'm still ridiculed for my talent, my short stature, and the clothes I wear; I haven't made new friends in the city and to top it all off, I couldn't even stand sleeping in my dorm because my roommate is sleeping with all the guys on our floor. I hate it here, I wanna go home.** " She cried and Santana listened intently on the other end.

" _That sucks, Rach. But, it's gonna be okay._ " The taller brunette assures her.

" **How is it gonna be okay, Santana? I just told you everything that's going wrong in my life right now, so, how is everything going to be okay? Tell me.** " Rachel snapped, but not really meaning to.

Santana rolls her eyes at Rachel's attitude on the other end of the line, thankful that Rachel couldn't see.

" _Okay, I want you to listen okay?_ " Santana begins and waits for Rachel's reply.

" **I'm listening,** " Rachel says.

" _If I suggest that you get an apartment and a new roommate instead, what would you say?_ "

" **I'd say, what are you talking about?** "

" _I'll make it easy for you, Rachel. Turn around._ "

" **Huh? What? You're not making any sense, Santana.** "

" _Just turn around Berry, afores I lose my cool._ "

Rachel turns around as Santana told her to do so and she sees the Latina, standing there, waving at her, on the other end of the fountain. She squealed with glee and Santana rolled her eyes at the girl's cuteness.

" **Oh my God, am I dreaming?! Is it just me or is that really you?** "

" _God Berry, even now, four years later, you're still a drama queen. Just put the phone down, come over here so I could give you a hug._ "

So Rachel did just that. She hung up the phone and ran over to Santana and gave her a big, big hug and Santana grinned at the diva. When Rachel pulled away, she said to the Latina, "Welcome to New York!" Santana just nodded and pulled the diva in her arms for another hug.

Finally, a friendly face—Rachel's not so lonely anymore.

* * *

 

"So what are you doing here? Really?" Rachel asks. They were now at a small bistro in downtown New York. "Well, I didn't really go to Kentucky. It wasn't for me. So I stayed behind in Lima this summer." Santana said. They begin to eat their dinner, and talked some more, catching each other up on each girl's lives.

Santana told her about her and Brittany's relationship and that they were going strong, even though it's a long distance relationship. Then, it was Rachel's turn. Santana asked her about her and Finn's relationship; and when Rachel got to the part about Finn surrendering and all, Santana was a little shocked. Sure, she wasn't really a fan of Finchel, but still… she thought those two would be together forever. "So, it's really over?"

"I guess so. I mean, he's in the army now and I'm here in New York; it wouldn't really work out for the better in the long run." Rachel said, with a sad smile.

Santana felt a lil' bit guilty for broaching the topic, so she said, "Hey, you know what? Let's talk about something else."

"Like what?" The younger brunette found herself asking.

"No, wait. Let's just drink to it." Santana ordered them both a glass of champagne, Rachel seemed a bit nostalgic about the idea, but didn't say anything about it.

Before Rachel could even ask what they were toasting to, Santana beat her to it, "To bright futures and to finding ourselves in New York." Both of the girls said, "cheers!" and clinked their glasses, drinking their bubblies whilst thinking about the future.

* * *

 

Santana crashed in Rachel's dorm that night, since Rachel told her that her roommate is out and about and probably won't be home until later.

"There's some great cheap, low-cost, but fully furnished apartments in Bushwick, Rach. We could check it out tomorrow, if you want." Santana suggests and Rachel nodded.

"Yeah, let's check it out tomorrow." Rachel said, agreeing with Santana's suggestion. She let out a yawn and got settled in on her bed. "Good night, Santana."

"Night, Rach." Santana says and dozes off, a few seconds later.

Rachel was still wide awake, with only one thought in mind: I so can't wait for tomorrow. And with that thought in mind and a smile on her lips, she succumbs to peaceful oblivion.


	2. let's bond!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically season 4 (in my head), but the spotlight's more on Santana/Rachel.

Rachel and Santana were relaxing around their new apartment in Bushwick. It was a nice, quaint, and cozy little shoebox perfect for the two of them. Rent was not a problem, since the girls agreed to split their money for this apartment. Furniture is also not a problem; they already have beds, a couch, and cute little chairs, they also have a TV; and the only things they needed were coffee tables and study desks.

"Isn't this great?" Santana asks.

"This is amazing! This is just perfect!" Rachel couldn't help but squeal.

Santana nodded, with a smile, which was kind of weird, even for her. "Yeah, at least you're not going to share a room with—what's her name again?"

Rachel replied, "Angela."

Santana nods and wastes no time in judging Rachel's former roommate, "Right. At least you're not going to room with that whore anymore."

Rachel reminds her, "Santana, you never really got to know her, so don't judge."

Santana counters, "Hey! Aren't you the one who said she's sleeping with all the guys on your floor?"

Rachel thought about this for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah, I see your point. But I never really knew her that much, either." Then she added, "Why are you always right?"

"Not always, but, I have my moments."

"Right."

* * *

 

They went to BreadstiX (yes, NYC has a BreadstiX restaurant) for lunch, which was like, heaven for Santana.

"If this was heaven, I'd want God to take me now please," Santana says somewhat dramatically, which made Rachel giggle.

Santana ordered spaghetti Bolognese and Rachel preferred the pasta with meat substitute. Santana took notice of this when they were eating, "I see you're still a vegetarian, huh?" Rachel said, "Yup."

"So anyways, I got a call from Porcelain." Rachel rolls her eyes at that. "Santana, he has a name. Kurt is his name."

Santana smirked, "Right, but I prefer Porcelain. Anyways, I got a call from him saying that they held auditions for glee club last week."

"Oooh, so who's in?"

"A girl named Marley who Por—I mean, Kurt said that this girl Marley, is exactly like you talent-wise, and a guy named Jake, who, from what Kurt told me, is Puckerman's half-brother."

"No way!"

"Yes way."

"Puck has a half-brother?"

"Yep."

"Why didn't he tell us about it all throughout our high school years?"

"Dunno. Maybe Puckerman doesn't even know he has a brother from another mother. Or father. Whatever."

"Ah I see. So, anyone else?"

"Yeah. Remember Wade Adams, the Carmel High sophomore who Kurt and Mercedes met last year?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"Well, for one, he's gay and second, he transferred to McKinley, and long story short, eventually became a member of New New Directions."

Rachel laughed at that. "New New Directions?"

"Yeah, that's according to Brittany." Santana stifled a giggle at that and Rachel did too, "it's also according to her that Wade-slash-Unique is totally a Mercedes clone." Rachel and Santana shared another laugh.

Santana pointed out, "Brittany also said that they're doing Britney Spears this week."

Rachel said, "Britney 2.0! I'm actually jealous!"

Santana just nodded at Rachel's sentiment.

"So, speaking about Brittany… are you sad that she didn't graduate?" Rachel asks, straight to the point.

"No, actually I'm not sad at all. Because I believe that Brittany is smart and that she can do it. She just lacks determination and focus. What she needs is the willpower of believing in her, believing in herself—believing that she is smart, I mean, and maybe the whole world will start believing that she is smart, too. Just like I do," Santana says.

"Wow such nice, sweet words from a supportive girlfriend." Rachel says and Santana smiles at her friend and takes Rachel's words as a compliment. "I wish Finn was also that supportive of me." A sad smile ghosted her lips as she said that.

Santana was confused and a little curious, so she said, "What do you mean? Berry, I know, hell, we all knew that Frankenteen is very supportive of you. We've all known it a long time ago. Finn's just that kind of guy."

Rachel taunts, "Supportive enough to put me on that train?"

"Look, I know you may not believe me when I say this, but I understand why he put you on that train. He forced you to go here in New York, because all he wanted was for you to follow your dreams, even without him by your side. He believes that you can do it all, and that you can shine bright like the star we all know you are. Most of all, I think he put you on that train because he's got this, generally speaking, idea that he's the one holding you back from your dreams. Maybe seeing you give up your dreams for him was the icing on the cake, which eventually made him surrender and set you free," Santana says, out of breath from all the talking she did. She waited for Rachel's reaction, but she got nothing, so she continued. "God, I wasn't the biggest fan of you guys back in the day, but now I think I turned into a very HUGE supportive Finchel fan."

Rachel's eyes welled up with tears at Santana's kind and thoughtful words. Santana didn't know how to react at that moment, but as if on instinct, she pulled the crying brunette into her arms.

"I've said too much, huh?" Santana asks and Rachel shook her head.

"No, you've s-said exactly what I n-n-needed to hear, so… so t-thank you."

"No problem, Rachel."

* * *

 

Later that night, the two girls were seated on the floor, in the living room, eating Chinese takeout dinner when Santana suddenly blurted: "Do you hate me for what I used to do to you? I mean, tormenting you, slushying you, calling you nicknames... do you hate me?"

Rachel's eyes widened and she gasped, "What? No! Of course I don't hate you. Why do you think that?"

Santana sighed. "Well, you should hate me. You should totally and absolutely despise me, but you don't. Why is that?" The Latina wonders out loud.

Rachel says, "I don't hate you. You might not believe me, but I really don't. I forgave you a long time ago."

"Yeah and that's what I don't get. Why don't you hate me and why did you forgive me that easily?" Santana wants to know because she's utterly confused right now.

"Because I know that people, even people like you who have fierce personalities, are subject to change. And I don't know… I just, I never gave up on hope that you will change for the better someday, in the near future."

"You have such a big heart, Rachel, and I don't deserve that." Santana sighed.

"Santana, if you don't mind me asking, what brought this on?" Rachel asks, curiously.

Santana tells her, "Nothing. I just… I just realized that I want to be a better friend to you, Rachel. I don't want to go back to the way I used to be."

Rachel nods. "Truthfully, I don't see the old Santana with me here in New York. Sure, you still have some of that bitchiness factor with you and you still have some insults at the ready when you feel like using them, but what's different is that they lack the usual snarky touch to them. I see the new Santana with me here in New York. The one who I could totally depend on, ask for advice, and lean on when I need it the most; the one that's quite caring, thoughtful, and protective of her friends; and last but not the least, the one who also has a big heart, who just doesn't realize it yet."

Santana was quiet for a moment, contemplating Rachel's words. "Wow. I don't really know what to say except for a thank you. Thank you for thinking the best of me, Rachel."

Rachel says back almost instantly, "You're welcome, Santana."

Santana replies, "I probably don't deserve it, but it really means a lot coming from you. So again, thank you."

The two girls share a quick hug and Rachel says, "Don't mention it, San."

"Remember what I said to you after our **_So Emotional_** number?" Rachel says and Santana nodded.

"That we, and I quote, "only have 42 days left to be friends."" Santana says, remembering that day like it happened yesterday.

"Right. And now, we have so much more than 42 days to be friends," Rachel points out.

"You're right. Which is why I'm going to make it up to you. I'm going to make it all up to you." Santana promises.

Rachel shook her head, "You don't have to, but I'd really appreciate the gesture."

"A simple thank you will do," Santana mocks and Rachel rolls her eyes. "Thank you." Santana nods.

"I mean it; I want to be a better friend for/to you, Rachel."

"I know." Rachel says, pausing for a moment, before adding, "I'm really glad you're here with me, Santana."

"I am too, Rach, I am too." Santana says, giving Rachel a hug one last time before retreating to their own bedrooms, officially calling it a night.


	3. a phone call, a friendly date, and a makeover

Rachel was currently on break from her Dance 101 class, when her phone rang. She answered it immediately, without bothering to look at the caller ID. " **Hello?** "

" _Rach, hey it's me, Santana._ " The Latina said on the other end of the line.

" **San, hey! Where are you?** "

Santana said, " _I'm just at the loft and I have a surprise for you._ "

That really got the tiny dancer curious, so she asked, " **Oh yeah? What's that?** "

Santana laughed. " _Well it wouldn't be a surprise if I tell you about it now, right?_ "

Rachel pouted at that, though Santana couldn't see it. " **Right. I'm just curious, is all.** "

Rachel pleaded, " **Can't you give me just a lil' bit of a hint?** "

Rachel could almost hear the smirk in Santana's voice as she heard the Latina reply, " _Nope, not telling._ "

" **Fine, I'll figure it out for myself then.** " Rachel challenged.

" _Well, good luck with that, Rach._ " Santana teased her on the other end.

"Schwimmer! Break is over! Less gossiping, more dancing!" Rachel heard her mean dance teacher Cassandra July, scold her, upon seeing her on the phone.

"Yes, Ms. July, I'll be right there." Rachel said and then sighed, whispering to Santana, " **Hey, I'll call you later, 'kay? I'm late for class.** "

" _Oh okay, sorry for getting you into trouble._ " Santana whispered back.

Rachel assured her, " **No worries, San. Bye.** "

Santana said, " _Bye Rach._ "

Rachel thought to herself: 'This is going to be a long day.' She sighed, put on a brave face, and danced the waltz with her instructor, Brody Weston. He's a junior, majoring in musical theatre the same as she; he was the first guy she met here—her first friend—in New York and she can't believe she forgot to tell Santana that. She guessed she was just too focused on her being here.

* * *

 

A while later, after school Brody went up to her. "Hey Rachel."

"Hey Brody," Rachel replied. "Thanks for being a great dance partner."

Brody assured her, "Don't mention it, I'm happy to oblige."

"I thought juniors weren't allowed in Dance 101," Rachel said, in a non-judging way.

Brody replied, "It's cool. Ms. July let me help her with the freshmen." He started observing her look, from up to down.

Rachel gazed at him, this weird look in her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering… what do you say if I say maybe… you should get a makeover?"

"Well, I'd say why not? I mean, it's a good thing, right? What's that thing people say; you haven't officially "arrived" or something until you had a makeover?"

"Yes, my thoughts exactly." Brody said and gave her a little pat on the back. "So, I'll see you tomorrow and maybe see the new Rachel?"

Rachel smiled, "That's a promise." Brody smiled, and with a wave in Rachel's direction, he went back to the dance room.

* * *

 

Rachel went out of the NYADA Dance building, whipping her phone out to text Santana.

**Major emergency.**

_What's wrong?_

**Help me get a makeover, STAT.**

_Wait, shouldn't you be asking Kurt about this? He's in Lima right now, but I'm sure he'll be glad to help you. I mean he did it once, right? ;)_

**San, you're not helping. :( Are you in or what?**

_Okay, calm down Rachel, I was just kidding. I'm in. Just tell me where and I'm there._

Rachel texted Santana the details and together they went to the mall and shopped for Rachel's new clothes at Forever 21, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Candie's. Santana then brought Rachel to a nearby hair salon and Rachel got her hair styled differently, sleek, shiny, and straight but with curls at the end and she also had it colored—she now has ombre hair with blonde highlights—and lastly, she got her eyebrows waxed (a little ouch, but totally worth it) and got it more defined.

* * *

 

After their shopping trip and Rachel's makeover sesh, they went to have dinner at BreadstiX, where else? (Santana just couldn't resist her breadsticks and pesto pasta and Rachel her meat-substitute pasta.) They had a little argument on who would pay. Rachel insisted she would, but Santana wouldn't take no for an answer, so Rachel gave in.

Santana paid the check and then the two girls were out of there. The two girls started the walk to their apartment. Rachel said with a frown, "Let me foot the bill next time, Santana. You didn't have to do that."

Santana dismissed Rachel's statement with a wave of her hand, "No worries, Rachel. I can cover dinner for me and you and you don't have to worry 'bout a thing."

Rachel said, curiosity palpable in her voice, "But we're roommates and friends, Santana. I can't ask that of you every time we go out."

Santana sighed. Why won't Rachel just let this go? "I'm insisting. And do you remember when I told you that I'd make it all up to you?"

"Yeah, but that's not the point—" Rachel started, but Santana cut her off. "And do you remember what I told you this morning? That I have a surprise for you?"

Rachel nodded, but said nothing, so Santana continued. "Well, okay. I want you to listen and not say anything until I'm finished, got it?" Rachel nodded again.

"Okay so here it is: I got into NYU this fall, but I deferred, because I was trying to find myself first and figure out what I really want to do with my life. I'll attend next September, though. And that's not all. I also got a job as a barista at Starbucks downtown. That's my surprise, er, surprises."

Rachel processed everything for a minute or two, before finally saying, "That is so amazing, San! I'm happy for you, I'm so happy for you!" She doesn't know what came over her, but she hugged the Latina.

Santana hugged her closer. "Thanks Rachel, I'm glad you're happy about this."

When they pulled away, Rachel shouted, not even bothering to hide her enthusiasm, "A celebration is in order!"

Santana just laughed and nodded at Rachel's adorableness and her awesome suggestion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't really proofread this, so sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes.


	4. flirting, 20 qs, and... finn?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the last chapter. Enjoy!

Santana and Rachel were sitting on a plush maroon carpet in their loft, drinking champagne, both clearly in the mood for a celebration. Rachel proposed a toast; a toast to the future and beyond and she clinked her glass with Santana's, both girls taking slow sips and then finally downing their bubblies.

Santana then stared at Rachel, grinning broadly. Rachel frowned. "What? Do I have something on my—"

For the second time that night, Santana cut her off. "I must say, you look crazy beautiful and sexy tonight and I love your makeover. I mean, just… wanky."

"Thanks Santana." Rachel said, and then mumbled to herself, "Not as pretty as you though."

Santana heard that and she touched Rachel's hand. "Stop being insecure, Rachel. You are sexy, hot, and beautiful and what makes you more beautiful is that you have a beautiful, beautiful heart."

Rachel can't help the blush that appeared on her cheeks when Santana said those sweet words. "Thank you, Santana. You just know the right words to say to a girl when she's feeling insecure about herself, huh?"

"I try, I try but that was my best effort and it was worth it."

"Again, thank you Santana."

"Don't mention it, Rachel. So anyways, I was just wondering… if you wanted to play 20 Questions with me?"

Rachel said, "Sure, why not? You start though."

Santana nodded. "Okay. Um, if you were to choose, which one would you choose: Lima or New York?" She started.

Rachel gasped. "Santana, I can't answer that!"

Santana coaxed her to try and answer her question, "It's just a game! Come on, Rachel, answer me. Lima or NY?"

Rachel finally answered, "Fine. I pick Lima because that is where I grew up and met amazing people like you guys."

Santana nodded, smiling. "Aww, that's sweet. Okay, next question. Heels or flats?"

Rachel said, "Heels, definitely. They make me look taller."

Santana teased, "Psh, when have you ever been tall?" At that, Rachel gave the Latina a slight glare and Santana laughed. "Ha ha just kidding. You know you look really cute when you get like that."

Rachel raised an eyebrow at that. "Thanks, I guess…?" The tiny brunette blushed. Was Santana **flirting** with her?

Santana just smiled. "Okay, third question: who would you consider your BFF in New Directions?"

"Obviously Kurt. He's my best gay and I hope he moves into the city sooner than later. I really miss him."

"More than you miss Finn?" Santana asked, instantly regretting it the moment she said his name out loud.

"Santana, I…" Rachel said and again, Santana cut her off. "I know you're not ready, Rachel. Just answer me when you are ready, okay?" She patted her friend's right hand.

Rachel nodded and smiled. "Okay."

"Theater or film?"

"Theater." Rachel replied, and added matter-of-factly, "Hello, you're talking to a Broadway wannabe here." Santana rolled her eyes at that, but smiled at her friend.

"Film for me," Santana said, pausing for a beat or two, before continuing, "Next question: free coffee forever or free music forever?"

"Free music forever, definitely." Rachel said.

Santana nodded. "I'm with you on there. Next: do you play any musical instruments?"

Rachel simply said, "No."

"Well for me, I played the guitar for a brief amount of time. Okay, next; romantic comedy, musical, comedy, horror, action, or drama?"

Rachel replied, "For me, it's a tie between romantic comedy and musical."

Shaking her head, Santana said, "For me, it's between horror and action."

"Okay next question: The Simpsons or Family Guy?"

"The Simpsons."

"Same. iPhone or BlackBerry?"

"iPhone."

"Agreed."

"Puppies or kittens?"

"Kittens."

"Puppies for me. Pretty Little Liars or Gossip Girl?"

Rachel didn't get to answer the question as things happened too fast. So fast. One minute, they were playing 20 Questions, and now, Santana was kissing her. Yep, you read that right. **_Santana Lopez is kissing Rachel Berry._** What the hell is happening?!

Rachel surprised herself and Santana as well, as she kissed her back and even deepened the kiss, made it more passionate. Santana pushed Rachel down, slowly on the carpet, her back hitting the soft plush pillows, their lips not untangling from each other. They made out for a few moments and then, it was over. Just like that.

Rachel panted, "San, not that I didn't enjoy that or anything, I really did, but… what just happened here?"

Santana reasoned out, "I'm lonely and I miss Brittany, and I know you're lonely too, missing Finn. It just seemed right at the moment, but wrong at the same time. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For...taking advantage of you?"

"Santana—"

Rachel was cut off again, but this time, it wasn't Santana who cut her off. It was a knock on the door that startled her, and possibly Santana as well.

"Who could be here at this hour?" Santana wondered out loud and Rachel shrugged, smoothing the wrinkles on her clothes, and finally, getting up from the carpet to get the door open.

 **What** or should I say _who_ , shocked her to her core.

She could only manage one word: "Finn?"

All Finn could do was smile at Rachel, until he saw a figure standing up from the maroon carpet, someone with pink lipstick stains all over and that someone also happened to have her clothes wrinkled at the moment. That someone was Santana.

Santana mumbled, "Finn."

Finn couldn't say anything. Most important of all, he didn't know what to feel in that moment. He just stared at Rachel, then at Santana, then back to Rachel, then back to Santana again.

He finally found his voice: "What just happened here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh. Drama, drama, drama. Btw, hi Finn! ;)


	5. an aftermath... of sorts, and a flashback

"Can someone please tell me what is going on?" Finn demanded. Rachel stole a glance at Santana and Santana just shrugged. Rachel sighed. She let Finn inside, closed the door, before finally explaining, "Finn, it's nothing. It was just… it was just a kiss."

Finn laughed like what Rachel said was funny. "A kiss, huh? So how are you going to explain the wrinkles on your clothes, eh?"

Santana spoke up. "Look Finnocence, we don't owe you an explanation. You set her free, right? You don't have the right to judge us. You also don't have the right to be jealous of us since we weren't doing anything wrong."

"You may be right Santana, about me setting Rachel free. But let me be clear on one thing: we weren't officially broken up."

"It seemed pretty over to me when you forced me onboard that train," Rachel said, bitterly. "Do you even know how miserable I was about that? I still am and it has been four months since that… that worst moment of my life." The diva couldn't help but break down as she remembered that day.

* * *

 

_"You're on the 4:25 to New York. Your dads are gonna meet you there and they're gonna, they're gonna help you look at dorms at the new school." Finn had said and Rachel had this look of utter confusion plastered on her face._

_Finn continued as Rachel continued to stare at him, dumbfounded. "You're gonna spend four years of your life there and you've never even set foot in the place, so…"_

_Rachel reasoned out, "But I… I have all year to go and look at it."_

_Shaking his head to show that he's not agreeing with her, he countered, "You're gonna go there in the fall. Okay? You're not deferring. We're not getting married."_

_Rachel said, incredulously, "You don't want to marry me?"_

_"I want to marry you so badly, I can't go through with it. Yeah, but the thought of you being stuck here for another year because of me, it makes me sick." Finn had said._

_Rachel suggested, "Then come with me. Okay? We can get married in New York and live in a little shoebox apartment together. It'll be romantic."_

_"Do you love me?" Finn had found himself asking._

_"Of course I do." Rachel said instantly._

_Finn said, "Then tell me the truth and not just something you think I want to hear. Are you a 100% sure you want to marry me?"_

_Rachel stammered, "N-n-no one is a hundred percent sure of anything."_

_"I am." Finn said. "I am that sure you're something special. That this is just the beginning for you. Okay? Th—th-that you're gonna do amazing things. But to get there, you got to have these experiences on your own…"_

_Rachel now realized what Finn is going on about. The ugly truth of the matter. She can't help the tears that streamed down her face. "Wait a minute. Wait a minute."_

_Finn ignored her pleas, "Listen to me. You got to have these experiences on your own."_

_"Wait a minute." Rachel said again._

_Finn continued, "I can't have to be there with you."_

_"Wait a minute." Rachel didn't really want to ask him this, but she had to. Needed to. To figure out where they stand, once and for all. "Are you breaking up with me?"_

_There, she said it._

_"I'm setting you free." Finn said and more tears came out of Rachel's eyes._

_"Oh my God." She started sobbing._

_Finn had asked, "Look, d-do you know how hard this is for me? How many times I've cried about this?"_

_"No, I'm not going. I'm not going, not without you." Rachel pointed out._

_Finn was relentless. "You don't have a choice; I can't come with you."_

_"Well, then I'll stay here! I'll go wherever it is you're going," Rachel cried out, pleading for Finn to stop whatever the hell he's doing._

_But he didn't. "Fort Benning, Georgia?" Finn said and Rachel's eyes widened in shock. She was speechless again and just waited for Finn to explain himself._

_"Look. I-I need a chance to try and redeem my father, okay? I-I…" He trailed off._

_"Oh my God." Rachel said, clamping a hand to her mouth. "Oh my God, wait a minute." She continued to sob. "You're joining the Army? Are you insane?" She cried out, whilst still sobbing, "I can't believe that this is happening right now!"_

_"It's also one of the places I knew you couldn't follow me," Finn had reasoned out. Rachel didn't say anything in reply, she just cried her now broken heart out. He continued, "Look, you're-you're gonna get on that train. Okay? And you're gonna go to New York, and you're gonna be a star. Without me. That's how much I love you."_

_Rachel sniffled and forced herself to look into his eyes. Finn had asked her, "You know what we're gonna do? Surrender. I know how hard that is for you because of how hard you hold on to stuff. But-but we're just gonna, we're gonna sit here and we're just gonna let go. Okay, and-and let the universe do its thing." Rachel was crying so hard now and it pained Finn to see his girlfriend like this. It's because of him. But he knows that letting her go is for the best, so that's why he's doing this right now._

_"And if we're meant to be together," Finn continued, "then we're gonna be together. W-whether it's in a little shoebox apartment in New York or on the other side of the world. Okay?" Rachel continued on sobbing, but knowing that there's really no way out of this, she nodded._

_"Will you do that with me? Will you surrender?" Finn had asked. All Rachel could manage was, "I love you so much."_

_Finn said back, almost instantly, "I love you." He leaned in and crashed his lips onto hers, the longtime couple having their one last, bittersweet, goodbye kiss._

* * *

 

Back to reality, Rachel was now sobbing, hard, in Santana's arms. "It'll be okay, Rach, it's gonna be okay." The Latina kept saying over and over again and Santana also kept glaring in Finn's direction. When Rachel finally calmed down a little and had a glass of water, Santana took that chance to talk to Finn.

"Maybe you should just go, Frankenteen. Rachel's had quite a day and she doesn't need any more drama in her life. You need to go. I'll take care of her."

Finn nodded. "Please tell her that I'm sorry, I still am, and that I'm coming back."

"I will." Santana said, opening the apartment door, "We'll see you tomorrow, I guess?"

"Yeah, see you girls tomorrow." Finn said and taking one last glance at Rachel, he stepped out of the apartment and walked away.

Santana sighed before closing the door. She sat down on the couch beside Rachel again. "Hey. I'll take you to your bed, yeah?" Rachel just nodded, without even looking at her. "You've had quite a day, I'm sure you must be tired."

The Latina at first struggled to get the tiny brunette to get up, but once she succeeded, she gently took her by the arms and carefully led her to her bedroom.

Once they were settled on the bed and tucked in, Rachel said, in a tiny voice, "Stay." Santana nodded, telling her, "I don't plan on going anywhere anyways."

"Can you sing to me?" Rachel asked. Santana thought for a moment, before finally nodding.

**So no one told you life was**  
 **gonna be this way**  
 **Your job's a joke your broke**  
 **your love life's DOA**

**It's like you're always stuck**  
 **in second gear**  
 **When it hasn't been your day**  
 **your week, your month, or even your year**

**But, I'll be there for you**  
 **when the rain starts to pour**  
 **I'll be there for you**  
 **like I've been there before**  
 **I'll be there for you**  
 **'cause you're there for me too…**

She was about to carry on, but she stopped once she heard a light snore coming from the tiny brunette beside her.

Santana smiled to herself and whispered in the air, "I'll be there for you, Rachel. That's a promise. I'll be there for you, for whatever you need and I'll be there for you, whether you like it or not." She pulled the sleeping girl closer to her. "Night Rach, I love you." She whispered one last time, kissed her on the top of her head, before succumbing into a much needed sleep.

Little did Santana know; Rachel  _actually_  heard that last part and she just smiled in her sleep.


	6. arguments and reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. I wasn't here for a couple of days due to a personal tragedy and I'm actually still grieving right now, but I knew that I needed to continue this or else I will go cray. Anyways, here's chapter 6 and I hope you guys enjoy.

Santana Lopez is not a morning person. Never was, never will. So what is she doing at 8am, up and about? Making breakfast for herself and Rachel, that's what. And plus, she was the one who made breakfast for herself most of the time back in Lima. She started by making an eggs Benedict and orange juice for herself, then she moved on to making vegan pancakes for Rachel, and lastly, she made the little diva a green juice (which consisted of spinach, kale, celery, and green apple).

Just as she was done setting the table, Rachel walked in the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Hey," she greeted her roommate. "Hi," Santana greeted back, with a smile. "How'd you sleep?"

"I slept okay, I guess."

"Well, you're just in time for breakfast."

"Yeah. I was wondering what smelled so good," Rachel smiled. "You didn't have to do all this, you know."

"I wanted to, Rachel." Santana says and Rachel just nods at that. "So, the pancakes and green juice are for you, and the eggs Benedict and OJ is for me."

Rachel took a sip of her green juice. "It's delicious."

"What's in this, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Celery, kale, spinach, and green apple." Santana replied, and then added, "Now, let's dig in!"

They ate their respective breakfasts, Rachel commenting on how good it was and Santana responding with a "thanks Rachel, I'm glad you like it."

* * *

Awkward silence ensued between them, whilst clearing the table and doing the dishes; neither of them knowing what to say next. But Santana couldn't handle it anymore, so she broke it: "So um, Rach, what time should you be at uni today?"

"Twelve-ish, why?" Rachel said, raising her eyebrow.

"Nothing, I was just thinking if, maybe we could talk about what happened last night?" Santana inquired.

"Nothing happened last night, San. You know that, I know that, we both know that." Rachel lied.

"Rachel..."

"Santana."

* * *

 

"You and I both know that that wasn't nothing, Rachel! I kissed you, you kissed me back, and that...that wasn't _just_ a kiss and I know that, you know that, we both know that!" Santana reasoned, raising her voice a little bit, which made Rachel wince.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this, Santana? It was just an innocent kiss, for crying out loud!" Rachel reasoned.

Santana was making such a big deal out of this because that kiss, that kiss last night made her feel things she shouldn't feel. Wait, what?! Okay, that kiss definitely made her feel something for the little brunette, not that she was going to admit that out loud right now 'cause Rachel seemed downright okay with being in denial about that stupid kiss.

"Because I-" Santana was cut off by Finn entering the loft, bearing bagels and muffins. 'Saved by the huge oaf,' Santana thought and sighed in relief, and she saw Rachel did the same thing as well. "What are you doing here, Frankenteen?"

"I come in peace." Finn said, making Rachel giggle and Santana roll her eyes. "I came here to talk to Rachel, like I told you last night, Santana."

Santana flashed him a fake smile. "How could I forget?"

Rachel looked back and forth between them, confused. "Wait. He told you last night that he'll come back?" Santana nodded and Rachel continued, the confusion palpable in her voice, "And you never told me?"

Santana shook her head, "I was just trying to..."

"To what, Santana?" Rachel said, coldly.

"I was just trying to protect you." Santana replied and Rachel let out an unamused laugh. "Ha. Protect me? Do you think I'm that fragile, Santana?"

Finn was confused. "Can someone tell me what is going on here?"

Santana widened her eyes at Rachel's question, "What? No, of course not! I don't think for one second that you're fragile, Rachel! I never did and I never will! I was just trying to protect you so that you wouldn't get hurt, that's all." Rachel didn't comment and Santana sighed.

"Okay, maybe I should just come back later seeing as you two have-" Finn started, but Santana interrupted him.

"No. I'll go. I have to go... somewhere." Santana said, with this forlorn look in her eyes, and without even stealing a glance at Rachel, she stepped out of the loft. Rachel sighed and moved to the sofa, her head in her hands. She wanted to cry, but no tears came out.

Finn sat across from her. "Rachel? Are you okay?" He said.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay." She replied back, giving him a small smile, letting her hands rest on top of her legs.

"So um.. I came here to talk to you and to tell you the truth." Finn said, sitting beside her now.

Rachel nodded. "Go on. I'm listening."

Finn reveals to Rachel what's happened to him over the past four months: he did enlist in the Army as planned but only lasted sixteen days because he accidentally shot himself in the thigh with his rifle, which he named Rachel. "Wait. They let you name your rifle?" Rachel inquired and Finn nodded. "And you named it after me?" Finn nodded again, this time giving Rachel a half-smile. "Well, I'm kind of creeped out and honored at the same time." Rachel cackled at that, but once she saw the serious look on his face, she let him continue. "Sorry." "It's fine." Finn smiled. And then he continued telling her what happened to him. The Army definitely didn't work out for him, so after a semi-honorable discharge, he backpacked through Georgia, too embarrassed to tell her what had happened.

Rachel sits on his lap and he, as if on instinct, put his arms around her waist to prevent her from landing on the ground. "Look. Why don't you move in with me? Okay? And, and come with me to NYADA, attend my classes, and possibly pursue your passion for acting. And to be honest, there's something, some _ **one**_ that's been missing in my life since we parted, and that someone is you." She gave him a chaste kiss on his lips and added, "I let you go once and I'm determined not to let you go again. Okay?" Finn smiled at Rachel's suggestion. "Okay." He kissed her this time and pulled her closer to him, not wanting to let go.

* * *

Meanwhile, Santana decided to stroll around Central Park and just think about everything that happened in the loft earlier. She's mad at Rachel and Rachel's mad at her. It was clear to the Latina that a fight occurred between them, but she wasn't exactly sure why. Fighting with Rachel was not what she had planned today; all she wanted was for them to talk about what happened last night without fighting about it. That kiss definitely meant something to Santana, but for Rachel, however, that was different. It meant nothing to her; like she said, it was just an innocent kiss whatsoever. Santana decided that this was too overwhelming for her, so she decided to sit down on one of the benches there at the park.

The Latina was so deep in thought, she didn't notice that someone sat beside her. "Hey, beautiful." A familiar voice said and when she looked up, her eyes widened. In a good way. The Latina couldn't believe her eyes. Was she dreaming or was the love of her life really sitting there beside her?

"Brittany?" Was all she could manage.

"The one and only." The blonde giggled at her own words and Santana flashed her a small smile and pulled her close, hugging her tight, afraid to let go, but the brunette eventually did. "What are you doing here? How did you find me? What are you doing here in New York? How did you know I was here?" Santana couldn't help herself; she was dead curious.

"Calm down, babe. One at a time." Brittany said, smiling. She took Santana's hand in hers and proceeded to answer all of her questions. She told Santana that she was feeling depressed in Lima and that she desperately wanted to see her girlfriend, so she took a leave at McKinley and took the next flight out to New York.

"You are crazy, you know that?" Santana said and Brittany replied, "Yeah, but only for you San, only for you." Santana smiled at that. Brittany continued by telling her that she found out about Santana being in New York via a Facebook status from Rachel. **Rachel.** Santana almost forgot about her, but Brittany saying her name made her remember.

"And as for finding you here at this park, I don't know how. Lucky guess, I guess?" Brittany giggled again and Santana joined in for a few moments, before sighing. Brittany frowned. "Something wrong? I thought you'd be happy to see me."

Santana shook her head and explained herself, "No I am, I am. I am happy to see you, Britt. It's just... it's Rachel." The Latina frowned as well and sighed again.

"What's wrong with Rachel, S?" Brittany asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Well um.. Finn's back from the Army." Santana began.

"Okay..." Brittany said, not really following.

"And... and it's a long story." Santana said.

Brittany grinned. "It's fine, I have time."

So Santana told her everything. She even told her about the making out with Rachel part of the story and she was expecting Brittany to be mad, but she wasn't. "Wait. You're not... you're not mad?"

Brittany shrugged. "Why would I be? You told me that you guys only did that because you were both lonely. It's okay, San." Then she added, with a smirk, "I actually think it's kind of hot." Santana chuckled. "Really, Britt?"

"Really." Brittany said and Santana leaned her head on her girlfriend's shoulder.

"I'm really glad you're here, B."

"I am too, S. I am too."


	7. confused

Later that afternoon, Finn accompanied Rachel on three of her classes-contemporary dance, commercial acting, and musical history-and doing so, Finn sees that she's finally found the place where she belongs which lead him to worrying that there's no room for him in her new world. Not that he'd say that to her out loud, though. He's really proud of her, really really proud of her. Looking back on it now, putting her on that train was the best option ever, period.

Finn suppressed a sigh seeing Rachel walking up to him. He gave her one of his trademark half-smiles, which she really loves. Loved. Whatever. She sits on his lap, him holding her close. "How was I? Was I good? Was I..." Rachel began her usual enthusiastic chatter which Finn really, really missed. "You were amazing, babe." He finally commented after the chatterbox diva was done with her little speech. He gave her a cheeky kiss and she smiled, closing her eyes, enjoying the comfort and being contented in Finn's arms.

"Hey um, I wanted to ask you about something." Finn said, stroking his fingers through her hair which elicited a moan from the petite brunette. "Mmhmm," Rachel said and Finn took that as his cue. "I know it's not my business whatsoever but, what happened back there? At the loft with Santana, I mean." He felt her tense a little. "Santana and I..." Rachel started, choosing her next words carefully. "It's... it's complicated, really, it's... it's hard to explain." She then opened her eyes and locked them on his, waiting for his reaction. She expected something else, but Finn just nodded and dropped it.

Finn chose to drop it and just leave it at that. After class, she introduced him to Brody and Brody gave Finn a one-armed hug, which was a little weird for Finn, but reciprocated it anyway. 'Maybe that's how they welcome people here,' Finn thought. "I would love to get to know you more, man," Brody said to Finn, "but I'm late for something." Finn just nodded and didn't say anything. Brody then looked at Rachel. "You look smokin' hot." He complimented her and Rachel blushed. "Thank you."

He smiled at her and she smiled back and Finn felt a twinge of jealousy, but he chose to stay quiet. Brody began gathering his stuff and then, "It was nice meeting you, Finn." Finn told him, "It's nice meeting you too, Brody." And then, one last look and a smile at Rachel, and Brody's out of the building.

Rachel, still smiling, asked him, "You ready to go home?" All Finn could do was nod, as if to say, "Yeah. Let's get out of here."

* * *

They got home at around 6pm, and Rachel was exhausted. "Finally, we're home." She proclaimed, with a tired smile and a yawn. Rachel had no time to object as Finn carried her inside the loft. She squealed at the gesture. "Finn! Don't drop me, please!" Finn gave her a smirk and Rachel knew he was up to no good. "No, Finn, put me down, please, put me down right now!" She begged and Finn did put her down, dropping her on the couch. She shrieked, "Finn! That was mean!" Finn shrugged and laughed. "Really? You're laughing at me right now? Unbelievable." Rachel said, pouting and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well well well, I see you two are back together."

They whipped their heads around to see Santana by the door.

"No.. not.. really." Rachel said and Santana noticed the petite brunette's hesitation.

"We're figuring things out." Finn said and Santana nodded.

"Okay. Well I'll leave you two to it and-" Santana got cut off.

"San? Is this it? Is this your loft?" Brittany asked and Santana nodded. "Yup, this is it. Welcome to Casa de Berry-Lopez."

Brittany stepped inside and Santana slid the loft door shut. "Wow."

"Brittany?!" Rachel shouted and Brittany giggled. Almost instantly, the blonde was attacked by a huge bear hug from the petite brunette. "Rachel..." Brittany told her and Rachel got the hint. "Oh. Sorry." She let the blonde go and smile apologetically. "Well, welcome to Casa de Berry-Lopez." Rachel repeated Santana's words. Brittany nodded, smiling.

Finn hugged the blonde, trying not to squeeze her tightly just like what Rachel did and let her go back to Santana's waiting arms. "What are you doing here, Britt?"

"Just visiting and missing Santana so that's why I'm here." Brittany explained and Finn and Rachel nodded.

Cooking was out of the option for them, seeing as they were all hungry, so they opted to order Chinese takeout. Santana offered to pick it up, and surprisingly, Rachel decided to tag along. The walk to the Chinese place was short, but awkwardness was definitely in the air.

"Look um. I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to unleash my Snixx out on you. I'm sorry." Santana apologized, which was weird for Rachel and even for her, because she never really apologizes. "It's fine. I'm sorry too. I get why you did what you did and I'm grateful for you, but please, don't hesitate to tell me important stuff like that. I can handle it." Rachel said and Santana nodded. "Come 'ere." Rachel gave her a quick hug and the two were off to their destination.

After the girls made up, they picked up their Chinese takeout and went back to the loft, seeing Finn and Brittany playing some kind of game. They ate and told each other plans aka what to do whilst Brittany and Finn are in New York, and then they went to bed with their respective partners, Santana thinking, 'Maybe I got in bed with the wrong person', and Rachel thinking, 'Maybe I made love with the wrong person'. **_What?!_**

That was the first night Rachel and Santana dreamt of each other. Again, **_what?!_**


	8. the end of an era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye, Finchel. You will be missed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Borrowed some dialogues from The Break Up episode. This one's a filler and it's kinda short. Oh well. I hope y'all enjoy!

Santana and Brittany awoke the next morning to Finn and Rachel arguing about something. Honestly, Santana could care less about this coz it might be just another one of their pointless fights, but this time it's different and it sounds gravely serious and Santana might be a bitch most of the time, but right now, she's very concerned. She's especially concerned for Rachel.

"Finn, I told you! I want you here! Move in with me, please! I can't lose you again! And stop being so damn insecure all the time! I mean, seriously." They heard Rachel say, the anger palpable in her voice.

Finn ignored the insecure comment and instead said, "Rachel, I don't belong here. I feel like I don't fit into your new life. That's why I put you on that frickin' train! For you to be a star, for you to follow your dreams, make them come true, without me!"

They then hear some rustling and some more shouting.

"Whatever I do, wherever I go, it all comes back to that fateful day you put me on that stupid train and you know what, Finn? I hated you for what you did to me on that train station!" Rachel shouted.

Finn reasoned, "We surrendered and now, things are just different. We needed some time getting used to it."

Rachel huffed. "You forced me to surrender with you! And time? Time?! Seriously?! No fucking way! I've had two months to get used to it, and I thought I would never get used to it. You had four months. Four! And where were you, huh?"

"I decided backpacking on a trip to Georgia was a great idea back then, but it seems stupid to me now. And I just needed time to think," Finn said.

Brittany might be a little innocent sometimes, but she's not stupid. She's smart enough to know that her two friends are fighting about something, drama in their relationship maybe. Well, who was she kidding? Finn and Rachel's relationship are built on drama.

Rachel countered, "You had four fucking months to think! Or was that not enough for you?"

Finn reasoned, "I was trying to help you. I was trying to give you your freedom."

"Help me? And just what good did I benefit from that, huh? And anyways, I don't need you to give me my freedom. I am a grown woman! I'm an adult! I don't need you to hide from me to keep me from doing what is right for me."

"Rachel, I-"

"I HATED YOU! And then when I got to New York, I thought how much you love me. And how hard that must have been for you. And I thought this...this is what a man looks like. This is how a man loves. Your four-month absence, however, has showed me otherwise. Not telling me where you were for those four fucking months-that is not being a man, Finn."

"I know and I'm sorry."

Santana and Brittany were forced to listen to Finn and Rachel's "lovers" quarrel and Santana's pretty sure that things are gonna take a turn for the worse.

They heard Rachel reply in a dejected voice, "Sorry's not good enough." She added, "I’m _really_  sorry, but… I don’t think there’s anything to go back to."

Finn cannot believe it. He came to New York to hopefully win her back and now here she is, giving up? "Wow. So that's it? Is this how we're gonna end? After everything we've been through?"

"We've been through enough," Rachel pointed out.

"Who am I? I barely even graduated high school and my life has absolutely no direction."

"You are the first boy who made me feel loved, and sexy, and visible. You are my first love. And I want, more than anything, for you to be my last. But I can't do this anymore. At least not now. Not like this. **We're done.** " Santana can hear the tears in Rachel's voice. Brittany frowned hearing the petite brunette's broken voice.

"We’ve had beautiful moments together, Finn. Like I said, you were my first love. But I don’t think I can do this anymore. You're my favorite mistake. But I can't keep repeating the same mistake over and over again. I'm sorry."

"Wow. What am I going to do with my life? I don't have my girl. I don't have a job. I don't have a place in this world. I feel like I've lost everything that's important to me."

"You have you, and that's better than anyone else on the planet as far as I'm concerned." Rachel's voice cracks from crying.

"So what happens now?" Finn sounds more broken than Rachel ever was. "I can't just let you go like this, you are the love of my life! Let's just sit down and figure this out, please. It's easy as 1, 2, 3! Right?"

"It’s not so simple and easy as you think it is! Doing this is killing me, but being in New York showed me a whole new side of me… Someone I didn’t know was here. Someone who cannot let herself go down with a broken love."

"Love isn't supposed to be easy..."

"But I don't think it's supposed to be this hard."

"Don't give up on me, Rach. Don't give up on us."

"No, Finn. You're on your own now. I'm sorry."

Finn sighed. "I'm sorry too. I...I should go. Goodbye Rachel. I will always love you."

Rachel tells him, "Goodbye Finn, I will always love you too."

The couple share one last kiss and Finn grabs his stuff and leaves, Rachel watching him as he goes. When she finally heard the loft doors close, she started sobbing heavily, violent sobs wracking her whole body.

Santana was right. Things took a turn for the worse. Brittany gave Santana a worried glance and all the brunette said was, "Come on. Rachel needs us right now, B." The blonde just nodded and didn't say anything.

The diva was still sobbing heavily and she didn't even notice Santana and Brittany come into her room, until she felt a pair of strong arms around her, holding her close (Santana), and the other one telling her that it's gonna be okay (Brittany).

Everything's gonna be okay. In due time.


	9. truth's out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel has been keeping something from Santana, but it's time to let her know. Question is, how would Santana react?

It's been a week since the great Finchel breakup and Santana was sick of Rachel moping around. One Saturday afternoon, she came into her friend's room unannounced, scaring the petite brunette half to death.

"Santana! You can't just barge in like that!" Rachel berated, making the Latina smirk. Resting a hand over her heart, she added, "You can't just scare people like that! You scared me half to death!" Santana just shrugged. Rachel huffed in exasperation. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Santana made herself comfortable on Rachel's bed and said, "I'm sick of you moping around, Rach."

Rachel was a good actress. She plastered a smile on her face and countered with, "What? No, I'm not."

But Santana knew the girl was lying. She has overseen this many, many times before. "Rachel, I know you're not fine."

"What? That's a lie, Santana. I am so fine."

"Your body is so fine. You, in the emotional sense, isn't."

Rachel gaped at Santana as if she were an alien. Santana knew that what she just said may have come out the way she didn't intend it to, but she doesn't care.

Santana remarked, "I'm just saying, Rach. You're hot. If I wasn't with Britt, I'd be with you."

"Nice to know I'm just an option for you," Rachel replied sarcastically.

"Going back to the point. You maybe lonely, but you're not alone. I'm here for you, always. You know that. And, and I know that someone better will come along and sweep you off your feet." Santana said, adding in her head, ' _Someone like me._ '

"Santana, I'm flattered and beyond thankful, but really. You have to believe me. I'm not lonely. I'm fine." Rachel told her.

"Honestly?" Santana challenged.

"Honestly." Rachel declared, but sighed within a minute later. "Fine. You got me. Happy now?"

"You're a good actress, I'll tell you that. But you, keeping up this "I'm fine" charade you have cooked up for yourself was very unconvincing, Rach." Santana said, grabbing Rachel's hand and giving it a little squeeze. "You lost a guy. So what? It's not the end of the world. This is not the end. This is just the beginning."

Rachel was about to speak, but the Latina silenced her by putting up a finger, as if to say, "I'm not done talking".

"You gotta get out of this funk and try to move on. It certainly isn't easy and it might be hard, but I'm right here by your side. Consider me your safety net. If you fall, or if it's getting to be too much for you, I will be there to catch you."

"Wow Santana. You're so..."

"So what?"

"You're so sweet. And smart, too. Very smart. You just know the right words to say."

"I try, I try."

"You really do care about me, huh?"

"Yeah, I do. I know I have different ways of showing it, but I really do care. I love you, Rachel. You're family to me, you should know that by now."

"I love you, too, Santana. And thank you. So much."

Santana then locked Rachel in a tight embrace.

"You're a good friend, Santana. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"I know, I know. You've told me that before, Rachel."

"I still find it weird, calling you friend. I honestly never would have thought I'd be chummy with one Santana Lopez."

"Me too, Berry."

"Again, thank you."

"You're welcome."

Rachel asked, wiggling out of the hug, "Wanna watch a movie and have dinner or something?"

Santana was a little shocked at Rachel's offer; she wasn't sure she'd heard her right, so she asked, "What?"

Rachel elaborated, "Dinner and a movie. My treat. It's just a simple thank-you for putting up with my crazy ever since...you know."

"Well, um.. That sounds like a date to me." Santana commented.

"It's-It's not a date." ' _Unless you want it to be._ ' A voice in Rachel's head said. "Like I said before, it's a simple thank-you for putting up with me these past few days."

"Okay." Santana finally said, making Rachel's heart swell with love and awe.

"Okay?" Rachel asked.

"Okay." Santana confirmed, with a smile and Rachel blushed, smiling back.

* * *

They ended up staying in, Rachel changing her mind at the last minute. They ordered food from Breadstix (where else?) and decided on **How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days** for their movie. They just finished eating when Rachel suddenly started fidgeting nervously.

"What's wrong with you? You've been acting weird all night." Santana said, pausing the movie, watching the girl closely.

Rachel was quick to brush it off. "Nothing, it's nothing."

Santana pried, "Come on, Berry. Tell me."

"I told you! It's nothing!" Rachel raised her voice, but she didn't mean to.

Narrowing her eyes at her, Santana remarked, "It's definitely not nothing if you're being like that."

"I just have a lot on my mind, that's all." Rachel said, avoiding Santana's eyes.

"Like?" Santana continued to push for answers.

"Nothing, forget it. Let's just finish the movie or something." Rachel said, grabbing the remote and pressing the play button, turning her attention back to the television.

Santana shook her head, grabbing the remote from her friend and pausing the movie again. "No. Really, what's eating you?"

Rachel bit her lip, took a deep breath, and began. "How do you, um, hint in on someone that you like them, without um, really saying that you like them?"

Santana widened her eyes in surprise, but quickly recovered. She decided to tease her, "Oh. So you like someone, huh?" She poked the girl's side and Rachel jumped a little, squealing.

Rachel said in one breath, "Don't. Um, I know this is embarrassing but, what do you say to someone you like, to find out if they like you back? Like, how do you tell them, without being embarrassed and left in, or even out of the friend-zone and oh my god, I'm rambling, I'll stop talking now."

"Rachel, breathe. First, who do you like?" Santana needed to know.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," was all Rachel said.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, okay? Just forget it. This is embarrassing enough as it is."

"Rachel, no. You can't just drop a bomb like that and expect me to just forget it, that's not how I work! Look, I'm gonna mention a name and you tell me if it's a yes or if it's a no. Okay?"

"Fine."

"Artie."

"As a friend, yes, as a boyfriend, no."

"Blaine."

"I might've kissed him twice, drunk and sober, respectively, but no."

"True, Pretty Pony is gayer than his bow tie collection."

"Now what is that supposed to mean?"

"Anyways, let's get back to the point. Kurt."

"Gay. And totally in love with Blaine."

"Two gay peas in a pod."

"Santana."

"Right. Sorry. Um... what about Mike?"

"Nope."

"Puck?"

"There's a possibility but, meh."

"Sam?"

"A guy who's dated two thirds of the Unholy Trinity? Nah."

"Finn?"

Rachel just glared at her and Santana shrugged, saying, "What? I'm keepin' it real."

"Yeah yeah whatever."

"Okay. Um.. Jesse St. Jackass."

"Nope."

"I've said all the guys' names and you've said no to each and every one of them, which can only mean one thing..." Santana paused, her eyes widening as the realization sunk in. "Oh my god! You like girls!"

"Santana!" Rachel scolded.

"I didn't know you swing that way." Santana said, the surprise palpable in her voice.

"Santana, I myself didn't know until..." Rachel began, but got cut off by Santana. "Okay. I'm gonna say the names of the girls now, tell me if it's a friend zone or if it's a love zone."

"Go ahead."

"Quinn."

"Friend zone. I just don't see it happening with her."

"Brittany."

"Friend zone."

"Tina?"

"Friend zone."

"Mercedes?"

"Friend zone."

Santana stopped talking. Her eyes widened in shocked disbelief and her jaw drops.

"Dios mio!"

"San-"

"Oh my god! It's me, right?" Santana questioned.

Rachel didn't answer, confirming her suspicions.

"You like me." Santana whispered. It wasn't a question; it was a statement, which took Rachel and even herself by surprise.

Rachel takes a huge breath as if breathless. She looks vulnerable. "Yes." The petite diva whispers. "I do."


	10. you're not my type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rejection stings like a bitch.

"Santana? Say something, please." Rachel hated how vulnerable she's being right now, begging and all that, but she doesn't really care.

No response.

Rachel sighed and tried again. "Santana?"

Said girl snapped out of her trance.

"Um, what?"

"I asked you to say something."

"I did say something."

"I know, but..." A hesitant Rachel starts to say, but the Latina girl cuts her off.

"But what, Rachel? What do you want me to say?" Santana is clearly in denial, but she wasn't going to admit that out loud.

"Say something. Anything. Please." Rachel begs and Santana kept up her act by playing the in denial card. "Like what?"

Rachel was getting frustrated, she couldn't help herself. "Santana!"

"What, Rachel? What do you want me to say?"

Rachel sighed and raised her hands in surrender. Dejectedly, she says, "You know what? I give up. I'm gonna go to bed now. Have fun finishing the movie. Night, Santana." She stood up to leave, walks away from the living room and was about to go into her room when she heard Santana say, "You're not my type."

She turned around and went back to the living room. "What?"

"You're not my type, Rachel. I'm sorry."

**You're not my type.**

**Not my type.**

**You're not my type.**

Upon hearing those words, the little diva felt like someone either stabbed a knife into her chest and twisted it repeatedly or pushed a thousand needles into her heart. Literally. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes, but she wasn't going to let Santana see them. Instead, she plastered a smile on her face and let out a comical laugh for good measure. She nodded. "I knew it. I'm so stupid for thinking you'd actually feel the same way. It's fine. Don't worry about it." She let out a long sigh. Probably from despair. Or tiredness. Or both.

Rachel don't know what came over her. She couldn't help, no, scratch that; Rachel Berry couldn't stop the word vomit. "Well, um, since we got all that settled, I'm gonna go now, it's late, I have classes at NYADA tomorrow, and you have a job now, you probably start tomorrow so I suggest you get some rest now too, we'll finish the movie some other time, thanks for tonight, I really enjoyed bonding with you, I really did and..." This went on for a few more minutes before Santana sighed, stood up, and rested one hand on her friend's shoulder which made Rachel flinch, which also made her eventually stop rambling.

"Rach..."

"Santana, it's fine. We're just friends, I'm not your type, you're still, and I quote, "in lesbians and very much in lesbians with Brittany," and I need to accept that fact."

"I'm sorry, Rach."

"I said it's fine, Santana."

"Rachel..."

"Not the first time I've been **_rejected_** by someone. It's fine, really. I'm used to it."

"Rachel..."

"Girls like me don't really get chosen over girls like Brittany or Quinn and I know that already and accept that fact wholeheartedly."

"Rachel..."

"Stop. Stop saying my name. Just... stop. Good night, Santana. Sleep tight." Santana didn't get a chance to reply as Rachel hurriedly fled the scene and locked herself in her room, quietly sobbing in her bed and crying herself to sleep.

Santana sighed. _'If only you knew the truth, Rach. If only you knew.'_  


	11. be my girlfriend, but just for tonight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls go to Callbacks and Rachel makes an offer with Santana she can't refuse.

Rachel Berry felt... free.

Yeah sure, Finn and her broke up, well technically, she'd been the one to end things but, you got the point, and she got rejected by one Santana Lopez, but she wasn't going to dwell on that and mope around anymore. She'd been throwing herself into school since the breakup and rejection and basically worked hard on everything she put her mind into. And also avoiding awkward run-ins with her roommate, that's inevitable but they both manage just fine. Getting rejected by her crush and breaking up with her high school sweetheart does have its perks.

Santana Lopez on the other hand felt... lost.

She may have gotten a job as a barista at Starbucks and was going to college next fall, but still, she feels like a loser who doesn't know what to do with her life. According to her, she's still figuring that out. Aside from that, she also feels lost because, three days after she rejected Rachel Berry, she went to home to Lima to break up with her girlfriend Brittany, time and long distance being the reasons why. They were both very mature about it; there's no hard feelings whatsoever.

One of them feels free and the other feels lost. Rachel and Santana, Santana and Rachel, they're opposites. And opposites attract, right? Well, clearly not in their case. But it's all good; Rachel accepted the fact that Santana only likes her as a friend and, it's all good.

Wrong.

"It's all good" is the understatement of the century. It's all good in New York is all just one big lie.

Right now, at this moment in time, Rachel and Santana sat in the living room, in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. Awkwardddd. Rachel hadn't had a proper conversation with the Latina since she got back from Lima, and Santana didn't know how to properly talk to Rachel without it being awkward.

Fuck this shit.

"Hey, did you know Frankenteen's back in Lima?" _'Good conversation opener, Santana. Really good.'_ The Latina mentally scolded herself.

"I knew that but, what is he doing there?" Rachel, surprising the Latina, asks.

"Well, according to Four Eyes, he's working full-time at Burt's auto shop, feeling like a complete loser but he wouldn't let Finnocence wallow in self-pity so he's helping him find his way again."

"Wow, where'd you hear that from?"

"Four Eyes told Porcelain who then told me and now you know."

"Well, thanks for the piece of gossip, I guess?"

"You're welcome."

Silence. Quietness. Both were being so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Tick tock, tick tock. Ugh, fuck this.

Unable to stand the silence any longer, both girls speak up at the same time.

"Listen Rachel, I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry, Santana-"

"Wait. What are you sorry for?" Santana questions, confused.

"For confessing my feelings to you since you clearly don't feel the same way?" Rachel answers her with a question of her own.

"You don't have to be sorry. For one, I am quite flattered."

"I'm sure you are." Rachel replied, the sarcasm in her voice palpable.

Santana chose to ignore that and chose to apologize instead. "Listen, Rachel. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings." _'Lies! It's all lies! You're blatantly lying to yourself! And to her!'_ A voice scolded inside her head, but Santana ignored it.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Santana. It's not a big deal. It will be a big deal if you feel the same way, but you clearly don't so... It's just a stupid girl crush and--" Rachel began rambling and Santana took notice of that. "Rachel, you're rambling. And nervously, might I add."

"Well, yeah."

Santana raised her eyebrow at this. "Wait. Hold up. You're nervous?" Rachel nodded and gulped. Santana asked again, curiosity getting the better of her. "You're nervous around me?"

"Yep," came Rachel's answer.

"And why would you be nervous around me? Rachel, there's nothing to be nervous about."

"Well I am."

"But why?"

"I just am, okay? Can you just please drop it?" Rachel snapped.

Santana raised her hands in mock surrender. "Calm your tits, Berry. I was just asking. It's not like I'm investigating you or anything."

"Fine, but I am not gonna answer your question." Rachel said, crossing her arms.

"Fine by me, but I'll make you spit the answer out of your mouth one of these days, even if that's the last thing I do." Santana proposed.

Rachel nodded, smirking. "Well good luck with that, roomie."

Santana just rolled her eyes in response to Rachel's statement.

They settle into a comfortable, somewhat awkward silence neither knowing how or what to say next to each other. Until Rachel's phone bing-bonged and alerted her that she has a new text message. It was from Brody, asking her if she wanted to go to Callbacks with some friends and party the night away before they go on their fall break.

"Who was that, babe?" Santana questioned, instantly realizing what she blurted out and shook her head, redoing her statement, "I mean, who was that, Rach?"

"Brody. One of my NYADA friends. He's asking me if I wanted to party with him and some friends at Callbacks before we go on break." Rachel explained to her friend.

"Callbacks?" Santana asked and Rachel elaborated. "It's the school's club slash stomping ground."

"Stomping ground?"

"Hangout."

"Hold up, I have one more question."

"Shoot."

"You have a club at your school?"

"Yep."

"Girl, that is so cool!"

"Super cool."

"I agree with you, Berry."

"So do you wanna come with?"

"Girl, you had me at party."

* * *

Rachel and Santana made the trip to Callbacks in style, in Santana's new Lexus, which was a gift from her papi. It was a 45-minute drive from their loft to Callbacks.

When they got there, they immediately went to the bar and took their seats. A bartender spotted them and said, "What's it gonna be tonight, ladies?"

Santana's eyes widened. She recognized that voice. She'd know that voice anywhere. No way. No fucking way. What is **_he_** doing here?

"No effing way! St. Jackass?"

The bartender winked at her and said, "In the flesh." He gave them both a hug and Santana and Jesse continued bickering, much to the amusement of Rachel.

Rachel looked Santana and Jesse back and forth, finding this amusing. "Well, I'm just gonna go and leave you two alone seeing as..." Santana interrupted her and ignored the bartender for a moment. "What? No way you are not! You are not leaving me here. I don't know anyone in this place, aside from you and St. Jackass over here." She pointed to the bartender and he laughed.

"Santana, I was just kidding."

"Har dee har har, Berry, har dee har."

"Oh lighten up, San." Rachel told her and then made eye contact with the bartender. "Seriously Jesse, what are you doing here?" Jesse St. James laughed and said, "Well, hello to you too, Rachel."

Santana punched his biceps and Rachel stifled a laugh. "Ow. Okay. I'm here at Callbacks because I work here now." Jesse explained.

"And?" Santana pressed.

"And nothing. I just work here, but I don't go to school here."

"So you're a college dropout then? From UCLA, if I may remember correctly?" Rachel asked and Jesse nodded.

"What about VA?" Santana asked. Jesse shrugged. "I'm not their coach anymore. Last I heard, they have a new coach." Rachel and Santana nodded, seeming pleased with his answer.

"So, what's it gonna be tonight, ladies?" Jesse asked them again.

Santana nodded. "Oh. Yeah. Um, okay. I'll start off this night with a, erm, I'll have a non-alcholic Shirley Temple." Rachel raised her eyebrow at that; Santana was being totally out of character. Santana noticed this and explained, "Someone's gotta watch out for you, protect you from jackasses and handsy drunks or whoever and I'm more than honored to play that role." Rachel just gave her a smile that made Santana's stomach do somersaults, which she ignored.

"And for you, Rachel?" Jesse asked.

Rachel was feeling a little bold tonight, so she told him, "I'd have a Raspberry Sex on the Beach, please."

Santana was shocked speechless by her friend's answer, she couldn't bring herself to say anything. That was certainly a first.

* * *

After trading stories with Jesse for about an hour, Rachel decided it was time to bring Santana to the dance floor. But before she could get them there, she saw Brody, who finally spotted them and was now making his way over. Rachel sat back down, turned to Santana slightly freaking out and blurted instantly, "I need to make a deal with you."

Santana was weirded out, but okay. "Yeah?"

"Bemygirlfriendbutjustfortonight." Rachel's words came out in a rush, Santana couldn't understand any of it.

"What?" The Latina asked. Rachel could see that Brody was two, maybe three or four steps from them and was desperate so..

"Be my girlfriend. Just for tonight," Rachel said and before Santana could even ask why, the petite diva leaned over and planted one on. her. lips. It was all happening way too fast, but Santana doesn't care; she responded back and surprised herself, and Rachel by deepening their kiss and making it more passionate. They engaged in a heated make-out sesh right there by the bar, completely oblivious to their peers.

Someone snapped their fingers over their faces and they broke apart for some oxygen.

"Wow." Rachel breathed out and Santana nodded. "Yeah that was... that was definitely wow."

Brody was in front of them now, a little taken aback at what just happened. "Rachel, hey." He began and the girl just gave him a small smile. "Hi, Brody. Brody this is..." Santana, her "girlfriend" interrupted her.

"Santana Lopez, Rachel's **girlfriend.** " The Latina introduced herself and reached out her hand for Brody to shake. He took and shook it. "Brody Weston, junior, musical theater major, same as your girlfriend over here." They shook hands, then it was over. The introduction part was over, I mean.

Santana decided to be straightforward with her new acquaintance. "So Brody. Tell me. Are you interested in Rachel? Because she's, you know, clearly _taken_." To make her point across, she pointed to herself and added, "And by the way, Rach's not into guys. She's a lady loving lezzie and she only has eyes for moi."

Rachel was shaking her head and blushing red like a tomato from embarrassment throughout all this, but she didn't respond. She just observed them.

"I am interested in your girl, Santana. But not like that. I like her as a friend and nothing more." Brody told her and Santana nodded.

"Good, because if you meddle or maybe mess us up, I am going to show you some well deserved Lima Heights hospitality."

 _'Lima Heights? What the hell is that?'_ "I won't. You can trust me."

"Good. Now, if you don't mind, my girlfriend and I are going to the dance floor to dance our asses off. Come on, babe." Santana half-walked, half-dragged her **girl** to the dance floor before she could even say anything to Brody.

* * *

"I thought he wanted to party with his clique and you."

"Well, I guess he just wanted to party with me."

"So he tricked you."

"Yeah, I guess he did."

"Huh."

"Wait. Are you jealous? Are you actually jealous right now, Santana?"

"It's hard not to."

"Why are you jealous?"

"Because I'm your girlfriend and that guy is making googly eyes at you like you're his prey or something."

"Santana, you do know that this is all just an act, right?"

"I know, but, maybe I want it to be more than that."

Rachel felt her heart stop beating. Santana felt butterflies in her stomach.

"What?"

"You heard me, don't make me say it again."

"Let's... let's go home. I'm tired and I'm sure you are, too. Let's just... keep up this act until we walk out those doors and we can drop it when we get home."

"Rach, what?"

"Let's go, Santana."

Santana was confused by it all. What the heck just happened here?

* * *

 

When they made it safely to their loft, Rachel thanked Santana for going along with her plan and before Santana could corner her and bombard her with questions, Rachel told her good night and she retreated to her own bedroom, leaving Santana in the living room to think about everything that happened tonight. But she knew very well she couldn't. She couldn't think, couldn't sleep, what with Rachel occupying her mind and all her trains of thoughts. All she could think about was Rachel and only Rachel. She was falling, she was falling hard for the diva. But does Rachel still feel the same way or it's too late now?

Santana groaned. "Damn you, Berry." She muttered to herself, lied down on the living room sofa, closed her eyes and dreamed of a certain diva.

Yep. Santana Lopez is in love with Rachel Barbra Berry, all right. Now all she needs to do _wo_ man up and act on her feelings. She already has a plan. She's going to woo her and sweep her off her feet. But that's a task for another day.


	12. slow is good, slow is nice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Santana face the music.

Rachel woke up bright and early the next morning. And it was a Saturday for God's sake. But it's normal for her because she's always been a first to sleep, first to rise kind of girl. She was up bright and early because she wanted to kill two birds with one stone: 1) apologize to Santana about last night and 2) surprise her with breakfast in bed. She busied herself in the kitchen, cooking pancakes and bacon for Santana and she even added in a toast and some Spanish omelette on the side. She also made her coffee, black, just the way Santana likes it.

She was about to go to her friend's room to bring her her breakfast, precoccupied with double checking the breakfast tray she was holding and making sure she got everything, but didn't get to as she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist, which made her almost drop the tray she was holding. Santana.

She gasped, and then frowned at the Latina girl, saying, "I-I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed and everything."

"It's fine, Rach. I was woken up by the tantalizing aroma wafting all over the loft." Santana freed her arms from Rachel's waist and took over, taking the tray Rachel was holding.

"This all for me?" Rachel nodded. "You didn't have to, y'know? But thank you. I appreciate the gesture. Everything seems delicious, I can't wait to try them all!" Rachel smiled at Santana's excitedness, but didn't say anything.

They went to the dining area and Santana noticed that Rachel didn't have her usual vegan breakfast or anything. "Hey wait. If this is all for me, then what are you going to eat?"

Rachel shrugged and picked up a piece of bacon from her friend's plate which made the Latina girl drop her jaw. "Wait... Are you... Seriously?"

Rachel nodded and took a bite of her bacon and said, "This isn't so bad after all."

"So you're not vegan anymore?"

"Nope. As of today."

Santana was shocked, but didn't ask any more questions. Instead she said, "Well, I'm glad you're done with your crazy omnivorous diet, Rach."

Rachel playfully swatted her arm.

Santana laughed. "Help me eat all this?"

"Sure." Rachel smiled.

* * *

After breakfast, they went to their sitting room to talk. Rachel was the one who started the conversation. "Look um.. I'm sorry about last night. What I did wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry, San." Santana was shaking her head at her friend's apology. "Don't be sorry, Rachel. You did nothing wrong. You acted desperately in the heat of the moment and I was your way out." She paused and held Rachel's hand. "It's okay, Rach." Rachel gave her a small smile. "And besides, you've done more crazy in high school, so..." Santana pointed out.

Rachel rolled her eyes and punched her shoulder, hard. The Latina winced in pain, but forced a smile to not admit defeat. For such a tiny girl, Rachel had an unbelievable amount of strength.

"Look who's talking," Rachel retorted.

"What are you talking about, dude? I haven't done anything crazy in high school."

"First of all, I am not a dude. And second, I resent that comment."

"Fine. I admit that I may have done crazy things in high school, but that's not point. And if you tell anyone about this, I will deny it and kill you, comprende?"

"Sí and I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm too young to die."

"Quit being such a dramatic and get straight to the point. What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Damn. You're real smart, huh?" Rachel questioned.

Santana nodded. "You could say that. I can read people like a book, Rachel. I know when something's not right or when something's bothering them. And I know something is definitely bothering you. Now go on, spill."

"This isn't.. I'm not even sure where to begin..." Rachel began, nervously, and started biting at her nails.

"At the beginning is usually a good place to start." Santana said and Rachel stopped her nail-biting, looked up and glared at her Latina friend. Santana shrugged. "What? I was just trying to help."

"Look. I know you're gonna deny this, but I don't care. I.. I like you, Santana. I really do. At first I thought it was just a phase, but.." Rachel gulped.

"But what?"

"When you... when you kissed me.."

"What about it? Did you like it?" Santana teased.

"Santana, can you please like, be serious for once in your life?" Rachel gave her a bitch glare.

Santana raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. Fine. What about the kiss?"

Rachel ignored that. "When you kissed me, before Finn and Brittany visited.. it... it all changed. For me it wasn't just a phase anymore, I found myself falling... falling for you."

Santana nodded, but didn't say anything. That was what encouraged Rachel to go on.

"Actually I.. I have to confess something to you, but this doesn't leave this room."

"I promise. Go on."

"Junior year, anthems week, I developed this.. this sort of crush on you." Santana was dumbfounded and shocked speechless. "I've liked you since then but it's clear to me that you won't, will never return the same feelings. Hell, you wouldn't even look at me or spare me a glance because like Medusa, you try to avoid eye contact with me, your words not mine. So I gave up. I gave up and dated Finn, Nationals junior year and the whole of senior year."

"So you've liked me since then? Since that moment onwards?"

"Yes, but I'm not finished."

"Sorry. Go on."

"Senior year, Whitney week, when I asked you if we could be friends, you accepted and I was overjoyed. Being friends with you is better than nothing at all. Now that we're here in New York, living together, I don't know what to do with my feelings. Feelings for you. I just.. I just don't know anymore. Maybe I should just give up and stop acting like a foolish, stupid little girl."

"Well, I don't like that." Santana said and pulls Rachel close to her.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because I like you, too."

"What?"

"I like like you, too."

"Y-you like like me too?" Santana nodded at her question.

"Hear me out, Rach."

"Okay."

"I've liked you since senior year, Whitney week, after we did that So Emotional number. I don't know quite how, but something just shifted in me. I found myself wanting to do more duets with you, rather, I found myself wanting to spend more time with you. But graduation came and then you were gone, just like that. So I never had the courage to tell you exactly how I feel, uh felt, whatever."

Rachel nodded, telling her to go on.

"Now that we're here together, my feelings for you intensified. But as you know firsthand, I tried to play the in denial card. I tried to deny my feelings for you. But it's not easy, it's not easy at all."

"Wait. Why were you trying to deny your feelings for me in the first place?" Rachel asked and Santana took Rachel's hands and held them and Rachel just let her be.

"Because I'm not a feelings kind of girl. I don't do feelings in the first place. The only time I did feelings was when I was with Britt."

Rachel nodded. "Brittana." She teased and the Latina scoffed playfully and said, "Ha ha ha, that ship has sailed and sunk, my friend." And then they chuckled, together.

"But anyways," Santana continued, "As I've said, I don't do feelings. And I know denial is a powerful coping mechanism and all that shit, but now, at this moment, I know that I need to face the music. Face it with you."

"Aww." Rachel said.

"And another thing why I'm denying my feelings for you is because I'm afraid of getting rejected. Every one of us fears rejection at some point in our lives. God I'm talking too much. I mean, what if you say no?"

"I would never reject you, ever."

"You don't know that, but I accept that answer. Another thing. I was denying it because I was afraid of how liking you could ruin my rep."

"Wow." Rachel said, mildly offended. Santana shook her head. "But that was in the past."

"And now?" Rachel asked.

"And now, reputation be damned. I don't care and I most definitely don't give a shit. What's more important is me, being completely honest about my feelings, true feelings for you." Santana told her and Rachel nodded.

"And last but not the least..." Santana trailed off.

"Yes Santana, continue." Rachel egged her on.

"This is going to sound pathetic but.. I don't know if I could measure up to what Finn was for you. I don't know if I could be that person who will give you the world."

"You two are completely different people, Santana. Finn is Finn and you're you. Finn was great, maybe you'll be something better. I don't know that for sure yet, but we'll see what happens."

Santana nodded, unsure.

"Hey. Don't think too much about this, San. I'm sure you'll be perfect."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I believe you, Rachel." Rachel smiled at that. 

"One last thing."

"Okay, what is it?"

"This is going to sound cheesy and I don't really do cheesy..."

"Just say it."

"I have words  
on my heart  
that my lips  
can't speak."

"Ohh." Rachel teased. "Getting poetic huh, are we now?"

"Oh shut up you." Santana said.

Rachel looked at her and thought about Santana's little poem before smiling sweetly at her. The Latina girl looked at her in confusion. Rachel leaned forward giving Santana a soft kiss on her lips. Santana sat there in shock when she felt the lips she's fantasied about for a long while now. Rachel pulled back and looked at Santana who looked down at her and smiled before giving in to the temptation and kissing Rachel. Rachel smiled and returned the kiss. It slowly started getting more heated to a point where Santana had Rachel against the couch, pinning her down. Rachel's tongue swiped across Santana's lips and Santana graciously accepted the movement and opened her mouth. Their tongues met in a slow dance, fighting for dominance.

Their make out session lasted for a while, before the apparent need for air became clear to both of them. The kiss took Rachel's breath away. So did Santana's.

"That was totally hot," Rachel said, panting. "Yeah." Santana said, smirking at Rachel's reaction.

Rachel blushed. "What now? What happens now?" The smirk was wiped off Santana's face and Rachel frowned.

Instead of answering, Santana chose to be quiet and serious, and it frightened the petite brunette.

Rachel reached up with one hand, placed it against her cheek. "Santana? You're scaring me, here."

"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head mostly at herself. "I know this is too early and shit, but it just suddenly hit me that..."

"That... what?"

"It just suddenly hit me that I love you."

Rachel swore in that moment her heart stopped beating. The diva couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. All she could do was whisper, "You do?" to Santana. And when she nodded, she burst into tears.

"Oh my god I'm so pathetic." Rachel sobbed, waving her fingers in front of her face, a stupid, stupid effort at keeping her eyes dry. "The girl I love more than Barbra says she feels the same, and I'm supposed to swoon. Not blubber. I'm so pathetic."

Santana laughed. "First of all, you're not pathetic. Second of all, you love me more than Barbra? Really? Wow. I feel so special right now. Third and last but definitely not the least, you're very cute when you blubber." She said, leaning down to kiss away her tears.

Rachel was a tad bit emotional, but can you blame her?

"Y-you love me?"

"Yes, I do."

"I do, too."

Santana smiled and took her hand again. "To answer your question. Now that we both know how we feel and that we both love each other, we can take things slow or we can rush things. But the last thing I want is for you to feel rushed."

Rachel shook her head. "Slow is good. Slow is nice." She replied and Santana was more than okay with that. "Yeah. This thing between us, it's between us only. For now, anyways. We'll tell the world, more importantly, we'll tell our New Directions famigleea when we're ready. If that's okay with you." She added and awaited Santana's reply.

"Oh believe me, it's more than okay with me, Rach." Santana admitted and Rachel smiled.

The Latina then decides to tease her. "Like you said, slow is good, slow is nice whatever. But slow requires self-control and I'm all out of that at the moment what with you looking so hot right now..."

Rachel swatted at her arm. "Oh hush. Patience, grasshopper. I've been fantasizing about this moment since junior year in high school, and I have no intention of rushing it." Santana pouted at that and Rachel backtracked. "But we can definitely make out right now if that's what you're asking of me." Rachel winked.

Santana smirked. "Well that's definitely taking things slow." She teased and Rachel playfully rolled her eyes at her. "You were the one that was implying it in the first place!"

"I know, I know. Now, no more talking," Santana said and together, they entered make out session number two.

* * *

By the end of the day, they were girlfriends. In private, because you know, their family and friends don't really know about them yet. But it's more than okay with them. They'll tell the world when they're ready. They were together now and that is all that matters.


End file.
